Winning in multiple offers - more than just the money

I enjoy participating in multiple offers (a.k.a. "bidding wars") on behalf of a buyer because often times, it's about more than just who's offering the most money.

I won a bidding war on behalf of my buyers last fall for a condominium in downtown Toronto not because of price. We were neck and neck with another offer but the listing Realtor and the sellers ultimately decided to select mine and work with me simply because I *was there* and they could wrap it up on the spot! I presented in person. The other offer was faxed in. Do you think the other bidding Realtor was going to tell his buyers that they lost out on their preferred condo simply because s/he faxed in their offer?

I won another bidding war on behalf of my clients, again, not on dollar value alone, but because we had also more flexibility with the closing date - and I had made it a point to emphasize that in my offer presentation.

And there was another one I won again, more because of my offer presentation than purely the dollar amount. The sellers still had an emotional attachment to the house. And part of my offer presentation included an explanation of who my buyers were and what they loved about the house (Note: I can't divulge all of my specifics because I consider them a competitive advantage - and one that's clearly been working for me in these situations.) It made a connection with the sellers and we won.

And the odd time, even my best efforts or dollar amount don't work. Several years ago, my buyers and I were involved in a 7-group multiple-offer situation. Offer presentation started at 7pm and by 10:30pm, I finally found out that we won. I went back inside the house to finalize the papers only to have the seller-wife break down in tears about not wanting to sell and pleading with her husband to stay a little longer. He agreed and because they hadn't signed the agreement yet, they pulled out. Needless to say, the selling Realtors (it was a team of two) were as dumbfounded as I was. And one of them had to go outside to vent. I simply thanked everyone for their time, wished them the best and walked out to my car to break the news to my buyers:
We won, yet we lost.

I'll share this tidbit though, obvious as it may seem - manners matter.
I've encountered some huge egos in real estate, some who *try* to bully and some just simply bombastic types. But when you're dealing with a number of people and with an emotional issue like real estate and often dealing with large amounts of money, manners matter. One can negotiate hard and creatively while still being polite and respectful of everyone at the table. It's really an additional negotiating tool.

What's that old saying? "You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar"